First and foremost

I am slightly inlove with my nonfiction workshop, and slightly repulsed? confused? constantly looking at people thinking: ?????

Like today. Talk about tension that you can cut with one of those infomercial knives that never bend or break. The story we were workshopping had this brilliant conversation involving sexual innuendos. Because you can't read the story I will just divulge that it was all about butt sex.
So. This guy that wears his shirts tucked in, jeans up to his chin raises his hand and goes:
"I think that maybe Michael (one of the characters) is gay and that ties back to his possibility of having HIV"
And unfortunatly he thought he had said something so incredibly insightful that he was beaming. That didn't last for long. Because the teacher began to itch and shift and we were all staring at our desks. The teacher wasn't going to say: "Look shitface your comment is implying that the only possible way someone can get HIV is if they are gay because there is no way some trampy tramp can be spreading HIV. And you just ruined the laugh we were having over the innuendo by making it political. Way to fucking go".
But she was definitly giving off that vibe.
I felt like I swallowed a brick.

Nonfiction is nuts. It's real so at home when you are looking at the piece and it's about some guys stripper girlfriend, or someones parent passes away, you have to look them in the face the following day and say: "I liked it but I felt there was no narrative arc".

But that is besides the point.

Je veux aller en France demain. S'il vous plaît? Je mangerais fromage et boirais du vin. Beaucoup du vin. Je parlerais en francais avec les hommes de beaux. Les hommes de beaux qui sont noir aussi [:

Wouldn't it be splendid if I owned this french toast stencil. Ha!

I watched three (three!) soccer games yesterday. Intense, man. First basketball now soccer. Who am I? Then Noelle and I drank far toooo much boba tea at Life Cafe. I woke up still full. Repulsive, but wonderful!

I get nervous when people try to talk to me in french

The days are passing too quickly, yet time is dragging its feet. I am ready for sunburns and peach iced tea and jobs that will equate to money which will go towards England which will hopefully accept me in the spring.

Monday:
Drank coffee (thank goodness). Lounged in the grass (the A&I grassy knoll??) with Noelle and Josh to watch The Final Inch. The bugs loved me, seven exceptionally itchy bites.

Tuesday:
Bryce and I ate an obnoxiouslylarge amount of pasta for lunch. I met Sanam, she is very nice and later that night we sat on the concrete of Rey's patio and listened to Pilf tell us about politics, despite his drunkeness, despite the fact that he is learning english.

Wednesday:

Oh my goodness, I slept for thirteen hours. I can't believe I fell asleep at 7:30pm and slept for more than half a day.

Thursday:
An incredibly culture-filled day which allows Noelle and I to stick up our noses and be somewhat snooty. We went to the Agent Orange exhibit downtown. The photography was beautiful but very sad. I think it is important for people to learn more about the birth defects in both Vietnam and America that came out of the spraying of agent orange.

Then we ate at Chili's (maybe not has culture-esque) but we drank obscene amounts of water and they offer black bean burgers. Except the waiter joked that being a vegetarian made me weird.

Next we trash talked Dike's favourite soccer team using chalk just in front of his building. I don't know anything about soccer, I just haven't used sidewalk chalk in years.

We chilled in Josh's apartment eating delicious margarita pizza, watched a little bit of Capote, than one of the best Office episodes (Michael: What's so funny? Pam: You had to be there. Michael: Oh hahah, it was a geography joke) and then the rest of Capote.

So good. And so haunting. One of my favourite parts was when Capote read a piece of the novel In Cold Blood to an audience. Sometimes I really enjoy hearing the story from the author's voice. They are the only ones who know exactly how it is supposed to sound.

Friday:
Discovered the exotic underground pet market because Bryce and Laurel's friend Jake apparantly "has connections". There are baby foxes with ears that are just out of control. I want a baby cheetah. That stays a baby cheetah. Laurel, Sanam and I really laughed for a long time. Just laughed and laughed and hurt because bodies sometimes don't know how to handle that much laughter.

Sanam and I left with Bethel and Stormy and eventually Desel to climb into the random spot of woods somewhere on campus. We set up for a surprise birthday and I found people who also watch The Game on BET. hahahah.

Saturday:
Sanam and I watched the school play, A Servant of Two Masters. I actually really liked it. I love italian names and it was physical comedy. Now I am going to not leave my apartment for the rest of the weekend so I can write masterpieces.

BUT FIRST watch this video of Shihan at the Def Poetry Jam. I am still inlove with it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5WgmbMW7Ek
and consider this quote:

Seedless grapes that aren't actually seedless

Cinco de Mayo. What can I honestly say? Maybe: “Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful, if it’s bad, it’s an experience.” (Victoria Holt). I have a lot of experiences under my belt.

My mom took me grocery shopping over the weekend. My refrigerater now houses a bag of spinach the size of an obese baby and I will not be running out of planet sized seedless grapes that aren't actually seedless.

The most important part of this post is:
END POLIO NOW!!!
This week is Polio Awareness and if your first response to this is a. I thought polio was already eradicated, b. What the hell is polio, or c. Why should I even care? You should attend some of the events.
- Tonight they screened the documentary The Final Inch. I recommend seeing it on your own time if you missed it. The volunteers working to eradicate polio is the largest non-military army.

- From 5-9pm on Tuesday you have the opportunity to eat yummy frozen yogurt and support the cause at Mumbles. Do it, I mean seriously, it's just down the street.

- Check out www.rotaractucr.org for more information.

Ballin': Evan wore pink wrists bands since he was playing on mother's day.




And an out of control water balloon:

Where was one of the sexiest men ever on a Saturday Evening?

Common @ UCR. Holy shit.

I own the same Obama wrist band. His facial hair was phenomenal. His voice, his arms, geez. I think 08-09 kicked a lot of ass considering I saw Daniel Radcliffe naked in New York and Common looking supa fly in the dingyness of R-side. Oh yeah and I am probably going to be in England next year?

I am reading Hemingway in the Spring time weather (all I need is a beret and a spot of tea and I will be a complete cliche). We are learning how to discuss vacationing in French. It makes me itch to just travel forever. Je voudrais visiter l'Afrique, Israel et l'Inde.

I am obsessed with these wonderful things lately:

Dreadlocks

More so on boys than girls. It's just sexy. Too me at least.

Strawberries

Delicious. I am 100% for these babies when Riverside heat threatens to kill. But I can't afford to throw down $5 for all but ten of them at the farmers market.

Kanye West and Amber Rose (Still)

They are aesthetically pleasing. Even if he is an asshole. Most aesthetically pleasing people are assholes.

Kitten babes

My birthday is October 30th...I want one. I would especially like a black kitty with white paws. I want to name him Shel, after Shel Silverstein.

Kittens that can eat babes

This kills me. How does a cat reach this size? Geez, it's nearly a lion.

Lastly this quote
"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world."
-George Bernhard Shaw.

What one in the morning brings...

Witnessed a poor girl get far too drunk. Now I am home and writing and waiting without patience for Saturday to arrive so I can see Common. People don't quite understand how amazing it is that he will be on this campus.

I also want someone to buy me a baby gorilla? Is that so much to ask? I feel lonely without a pet, especially one as adorable as a gorilla babe.

My week in five things

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZgsnp-ORec

Told a boy that he looked like Salim from Slumdog Millionaire. Complete drunken lie, but it made him smile and besides Jamal is more of my favourite. I watched Dev Patel's first television interview on David Letterman. He is charming and his expression after watching a clip from the movie is adorable.

2. Earth day!

Bought lemons and oranges from the Farmer's market (the berries were exceptionally expensive). Also bought two books, one by Hemingway, the other Capote. Five lady bugs landed on me. They gave away free plants which I didn't take since I do not have any land to let it grow in.

3. Columbus Short

He is sexy. I watched the movie Accepted for the second time in my life and realized I would gladly watch it for a third time just to see Columbus Short. He is joining the category of Unbelievably Good Looking Black Men. Along with Dwayne Wade, Taye Diggs and of course Common.

4. Where I will hopefully live next year

I am working on my applications for studying abroad in the UK. The school I want to go to is University of Kent, Canterbury. Ninety minutes from London, two hours by train from Paris. I am so ready to go already.

5. The Story of my Life

So usually I avoid elevators because it is nearly impossible for it to end without awkward repercussions. This week, walking up to my apartment I saw this guy that lives on my hall stepping into the elevator so I slowed down so that either I could get the next elevator or just take the stairs. Except he must have seen me because he held the door open until I got there. Very sweet. Then for whatever reason he assumed my floor number (the wrong one) and then we didn't say anything. Because I am bad at starting conversations.

I really am tired of eating dinner alone.

Je suis juif [:

I visited Swan (my old drama teacher) and finally felt appreciated for undergoing the grad student Shakespeare in Film seminar last quarter with two twenty nine year olds and four other classes. I described a japanese adaptation of Macbeth and he immediatly knew which film I was talking about and in my mind I was like 'Finally! Someone knows what I am talking about and doesn't think I am insane for spending countless hours on Shakespeare!'

I am ready, ready to leave the country for a time and learn how to live differently. I finally made it out of the "Poway bubble" but I most certainly do not want to become a fly caught in amber on the campus of UCR. The college I enjoy, but the surrounding city will not stop creeping me out.

I am nearly over my sickness. Last week was awful, I lost my voice again, struggled to stay awake and thought my brain was going to seep out of my ears. I think the urgent care presciption of these HUGE pink and blue pills have helped speed up the get well process.

I am working on my jewish-ness. I went to two passover dinners and met some more jewish people. Of course my parents are proud. Apparantly you can replace the shank bone on the traditional sedar plate with an avocado pit if you are a vegetarian. hm..cool.